Parenting in a Social Media Age

This article is long overdue!

Last summer, I said that I would write a blog post of whatever topic (provided it didn't promote hate in any way) to whoever would make the highest bid to the Mario Marathon through my blog within a certain time frame.  Someone I got to know through the marathon and Twitter won the bid, but I have been exceedingly and embarrassingly negligent in my payout.  My apologies!

The topic requested is, as the post title says, about parenting in a social media age.  There are plenty of ways to approach this topic and as a parent I do have a vested interest in topics such as these, especially as my kid gets older and as parents, my partner and I have to start thinking about how we are going to approach our kid's introduction/involvement in social media.

People have plenty of opinions on when they will allow their child/ren on the internet, whether or not they will supervise their internet usage, if they should get NetNanny or something to that degree, or what have you.  I'm not going to go into that tonight.  I don't know that there's one right or wrong way to handle that whole can of worms; I'm pretty positive there isn't.  Every child is different, I figure the way a parent should approach the topic of internet usage ought to depend on the child themselves.

What I am going to talk about it using social media as a parenting tool.  Just a quick qualifier, since I really only use Facebook and Twitter as social media tools, I'm really only going to speak to those two specific social media devices.  I know there's Google+, Reddit, Tumblr, StumbleUpon, et al - but I don't use them, so I can't speak to them with any great "authority".  So when I say social media, it's shorthand for Facebook and Twitter, mkay?

We've all heard the saying that is takes a village to raise a child, and I really think that social media has made that more true now than it has in a really long time leading up to this.  It has enabled parents to build a larger network of parents who we feel comfortable enough to lean on for advice, for a sounding board, or for someone we can commiserate with.  From the excitement of announcing that you're going to have/adopt a child and going through the journey of waiting for your new family member to come home, to welcoming the child home, to praying for the day they leave, you have more than just your parents, siblings who are also parents, and Mommy-and-Me friends to lean on.

Not only is your network larger (potentially), but you wind up (potentially) getting a broader range of parenting methods that you wind up being exposed to that you may not have been introduced to before social media blew into town.  How many parents these days go to Facebook when their kid has some weird sounding cough, or is having issues with potty training before they go to WebMD or a clinic?  I know I have on many occasions (perhaps to the chagrin of my partner on more than one occasion), and I know I will do so in the future.

Like with any form of advice, expert or otherwise, you definitely need to take it with a grain of salt.  Understand that what works for your evangelical Christian, public schooling, 3 child friend is likely to be vastly different than what works for your Sikh, Khalsa schooling, 2 child friend and either may or may not work for you, you single child, pantheistic, home schooling, crunchy parent, you.  The trick is to use the suggestions given to you by your friends/colleagues/family members as more of an aid to bolster your own ideas on how to deal with your kid yanking on the cat's tail (Pro Tip: Don't do what these parents did).  Don't take the advice given as gospel.  Even the good advice.  Especially the advice that calls itself gospel.

The thing I enjoy the most about asking for/giving parenting advice on social media is that it really helps me to feel like I'm not alone; I suspect I'm not alone in this opinion either.  It really goes back to the saying I mentioned earlier about it taking a village.  I like that I get to share in my parenting “aha!” moments and frustrations with my friends in Maine equally with my friends here that I actually get to see.  I like that we all get to watch our children grow up together, and I like that my friends in California are almost as excited as I am when my child hits some milestone in life, even though they've never actually met my kid.

That last sentence may cause some people to worry about security, and I don't entirely blame them; it's a scary world out there, and you have to be ultra vigilant as a parent.  That shouldn't prevent you from seeing social media for the valuable parenting tool it is.  It's also entirely possible to keep your child 100% anonymous on the internet, while still reaping the benefits of the social village parenting.  I see it being done all the time.  Sure, it takes a concerted effort, but it's totally doable.  You can seek advice/brag about your child without giving any pertinent details except for possibly a ballparked age and still having people rallying behind you and your child.  Try a gender neutral nickname and refer to your child only by that nickname and/or gender neutral pronouns.  Frankly, it's probably not a bad idea even if you're not going to go all out in making your kid the next Blanket on the internet.  Your kid's accomplishments ought not be determined by what's between their legs, but that's a whole different topic that I will probably talk about at a later date.

Since I'm not going to great lengths to making my kid anonymous on the internet (not on Facebook, at any rate.  Here and on Twitter is a different story) I won't try to come up with tips on how to Blanket your child/ren, but I'm sure a few well thought out keywords on a Google search will lead you to a blog somewhere that talks about exactly that.  Or, if you'd prefer, ask your friends on Facebook.

This Christmas...

This Christmas/holiday season I hereby issue a challenge:

Don't buy anything for your loved ones! 

Pretty crazy, I know, but hear me out.  

Today I finally got around to tackling a task I really don't like doing, which is clearing our kitchen table.  It's basically a catchall for junk mail and random doodads that we don't know what to do with just yet.  I avoid it as often as possible, but eventually it has to be done.  Anyhow, as I was clearing out, I stumbled upon a World Vision gift catalogue.  Intrigued, I put it aside while I finished my task at hand.

After finishing, I decided to thumb through the catalogue; what I saw brought me to tears.  Even talking to my fiance about it 10 minutes later caused me to break down in tears, yet again.  Sure, commercials can make me cry, but that's beside the point.  Did you know, that for $30CAD, you can give 10 children the gift of health?  For $35CAD, you can give 3 families the gift of self-reliance.  Forty five dollars gives the gift of literacy, education, independence, the chance for freedom to a classroom full of children.  For only $100CAD, you can give entire communities the gift of life.

So little is needed to give so much to so many people.  How many of us have a wish list of things that we want for our birthdays or Christmas (or whatever gift giving celebration you participate in)?  How many of us are fretting, thinking, "Oh, god!  What am I going to get Mom and Dad this year?" How many of us get nauseated at the idea of having to brave yet another mall excursion to get a $50 toy for your kid, who already has a room full of toys, and who may only play with that toy a half dozen times - if even that much?

Okay yes, not actually getting anything for your kids (the ones who aren't grown, at any rate) may seem a bit harsh, but I do encourage you to think about how much you're willing to spend on everyone, and how much of an impact even a fraction of what you will spend this year will have on people who really do need our help. 

How about this?  Instead of not buying anyone any gifts this holiday season, consider making a donation to World Vision, or whatever organization you wish to donate to in the name of at least one person on your list.  Chances are, they will be moved that someone loved them enough to save a bunch of people in their name. 

PS: I have the pleasure of getting to know a person by the name of Cathy on Facebook.  She has a business page called Cathy's Creations and she knows, perhaps more than most, the joy helping someone can bring.  She puts a fair bit of time (I'm assuming, judging by how many packages she sends out on a weekly basis) into making beautiful bracelets (among many other things).  One line of bracelets she makes are "Cause Jewelery".  Proceeds from the bracelets goes to various (American) health organizations, children's charities (usually for a specific child who has to spend much of their short life fighting cancer or some other life threatening condition), or awareness efforts.  She has touched many, many lives, brought joy and hope to many children and their families, and has inspired a lot of us to get off our duffs and do the same. 

I've been off work for nearly 8 months now, but I'm going back soon.  One of the first things I'm going to do with my first paycheque is buy a coat for the man who sits outside my local grocery store.  I don't know his name, or what brought him to his current situation (though, I can't help but wonder how much he would benefit from more efforts/funding for social housing in our city) but I do know that he is kind to my son, and doesn't have a clean coat to keep him warm and dry.  That's all I need to know. 

I can't help but wonder if I would have been inspired to do this, had it not been for the inspiration we get from all the kind, selfless, wonderful things she does for so many people.  I'm not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan or Buddhist, but truly believe that Cathy is doing something that transcends humanity. 

That's retarded.

Today, a friend of mine on Facebook shared a wonderful link to another blog.  It wasn't a particularly long post, but it had an impact on me.

How many of you, like me, respond to things we disagree with,don't like, think is awful or just have a negative reaction to with, "That's retarded" or, "That's gay"?  I'm very guilty of using the latter phrase. 

I have a coworker of mine who is an incredibly beautiful man.  He's generous (almost to a fault), funny, kind, hard working, always smiling and just plain awesome.  He's also gay.  For whatever reason, it never occurred to me that when I say "That's gay" that it was hurtful to him.  I was using the word gay as a pejorative, and therefore saying that he is someone to think less of.  Of course I don't mean or even think that.  But I also wasn't thinking of what I was saying. 

One day, he was telling me a story about a weird call he had taken, or some not very happy situation in his life that I was commiserating with him on and said "That's gay".  He just looked at me and said, "Thanks."  Nothing else.  He didn't go off on me, didn't tell me off, didn't call me hurtful things, didn't react negatively in any way.  That's not his style.  He'd sooner gut himself than willingly hurt someone, even if it was in defense of himself.  All he said was, "Thanks." 

There was so much hurt in that single word.  So much disappointment.  So much sorrow.  And I had caused it.  I felt about half an inch tall and immediately apologized for saying that.  There was no excuse for saying it.  All I could do was beg his forgiveness.  Being the amazing guy he is, he accepted my apology and we moved on.  I have tried to be more cognizant of my words since then, but I can't promise that I have never used that phrase or "That's retarded" since.  It's become such an entrenched part of society's (the Western society at any rate) lexicon that we literally don't know what we're saying when we say it. 

Many of my friends have children who have Autism or are on the spectrum or have something in their brains/bodies that keeps them from living like "normal" kids.  A lot of my friends do, in fact.  Never, never would it occur to me to call them retarded.  They're not (not in the way that people think of the word, at any rate - because let's face it, when you hear the word retarded, you're not thinking happy thoughts, are you?  It's a sad, and frankly disgusting reality).  They're some of the most beautiful kids I've had the pleasure of seeing grow up through pictures, stories and videos posted on Facebook and their respective blogs.  They have some of the biggest smiles I have ever seen, and I absolutely love reading stories of them coming to grips with their situation and learning how to cope with it.  When their parents struggle, or when they struggle and their parents vent online, I hurt for them.  When they're over the moon because their child said "I love you." to them, I rejoice with them.

I don't know how or why "That's retarded" and "That's gay" became an accepted turn of phrase but we really need to think about who we are saying that about, and stop saying it.  You wouldn't say "That's so cancerous" or "That's Chinese" as a pejorative, would you?  No, because people who run you out of town for saying something like that.  You'd be labeled at best insensitive or callous, and at worst a bigot or a racist.   Well guess what?  Every time you (and I) say "That's gay" and/or "That's retarded" that's exactly what you are.  An insensitive, callous, bigot. 

Let's end the use of the R word, okay?

Hug your children tonight.

Faith the Warrior Princess, has lost her battle with cancer today.  She was just shy of her ninth birthday, but she decided that she wanted to be ten for her birthday.  They celebrated her birthday a few weeks ago, so she and her family had a chance to all be together.

She's just a baby, but she was so strong and seemed to always have a smile in every photo her family has shared with us on Facebook.  It's not fair.  There aren't any words that can be said that would make it fair. 

Yesterday, Kienan was brought back to his mother's loving arms.  Today, Faith was taken from her mother's loving arms.

Both are reasons you should go hug your children right now, and every other opportunity you get.

Kienan Hebert

Kienan Hebert - last seen wearing Scooby Doo boxer shorts

On September 7th, 2011 three year-old Kienan Hebert went missing from his Sparwood, BC home.  His parents put him to bed the night before and at around 8:30 the next morning, they went to check in on him to get him up and ready for the day when they realized that he is missing.  By 9:00pm that day, the local RCMP issued an Amber Alert.

RCMP suspect that a person (I won't call him a man) by the name of Randall Hopley is the one who took the child.  They believe he is driving his light brown, 1987 Toyota Camry with a BC license plate 098 RAL.  Randall Hopley is 46 year-old with a long history with the RCMP.  In 2008, Hopley attempted to kidnap a special needs child from his foster home and return the child to his biological parents, for a fee of $2800.  There wasn't enough evidence to convict him on the count of unlawful confinement and of abduction, but he did go to jail for 18 months for break and entry.  Prior to that, he had 11 other break-in convictions as well as having been found guilt of a sexual assault in 1985.  He looks like a real douche-bag and his rap sheet proves it.

A week ago, my partner wanted to surprise me with a morning/afternoon to myself by taking our child with him to the PNE.  When either one of us leaves the house before the other wakes up (and it's something that wasn't discussed ahead of time), the standard operating procedure (SOP) is to write a note on a white board to let the other know where they've gone, if they took the kid with them and usually and ETA on their return home.  For some reason, I didn't think to check the white board when I woke up.  All I knew was I was awake and my child was no where to be seen.  I called out his name, went throughout the house to look at all possible hiding spots, checked the front door (which was locked - dead bolt).  He was no where.  Irrationally, I thought maybe he was with my sister, so I called her to see if that was the case.  She was the level headed one of the two of us and told me to call my partner.  For some bizarre reason, I was holding off calling him because I didn't want to worry him on his day off.  So here I am, in this gut wrenching panic, about to call the police to say someone stole my child and I call my partner.  In tears, I ask if he has our kid and he seemed confused that I was as panicked as I was.  He said, "Well, yeah I have him.  Didn't you check the white board?"  Sure enough, there was a note from him that he took our child with him to the Fair.

That was the single most terrifying moment of my life.  I nearly died in a trucking accident 7 years ago, and the fear I felt in those few seconds from when I knew we were about to collide to when the collision occurred didn't even come close to the fear I felt when I thought (rather irrationally.  Seriously, had I checked the white board, I wouldn't have had to feel that fear) that someone had my baby.  I saw my life flash before my eyes, convinced I was going to die on that snowy highway, and I would rather go through that experience every day for the rest of my life than feel what it felt like when I thought someone had my kid for even one millisecond.

The thing is, I know - without a shadow of doubt  - that what I felt can't even come close, can't even compare to what Kienan's mother, father and family are feeling right know.  I felt as though someone had clawed my heart, my very soul, from my body with their bare hands and I know that while that feeling only lasted a few minutes, Kienan's mother is feeling it minute after minute.  Hour after hour.  Day after day.  God, I can't even begin to imagine what it feels like to not only know that your baby is gone, that some evil person STOLE your little angel, but to know that that bastard took him from your very house!  While you were there!  Your house is the one place your child should always, ALWAYS feel safe.  The person didn't just take their child; he took away their home.  Their feeling of safety, of security, of comfort.  He took away everything that that house is supposed to be to that family when he took their child.

My heart aches for Kienan and his family.  There have been some possible sightings, in Kamloops, Dawson Creek, Chetwynd and on the ferry heading from Tsawwassen to Vancouver Island.  Sadly, nothing has come from either of those sightings.  I can't imagine how it feels to think that your child may be finally coming home only to have that too, ripped away from you.

In all of my melodramatic writing, I will say that I am really impressed with how the cities around them, around us all, seem to be responding.  As soon as the Amber Alert came out, TransLink busses have been alerting riders that the alert is still in effect.  SkyTrain stations are posting information about Kienan, Hopley and Hopley's vehicle.  When the RCMP and BC Ferry found out that there was a possible sighting on one of the ferries, they immediately turned the ship around and brought it back to Tsawwassen.  Alberta RCMP, and Canadian Border Services are on full alert.  Even on Facebook and Twitter, everyone is sharing information, updates or simply wishing for the best possible outcome for the Hebert family.

If the Heberts somehow reads this post: I am so sorry that this is happening to you.  I am fighting back tears as I write this because no one should have to feel the pain you are feeling right now.  I imagine the only thing that can possibly the ache in your soul right is to have your son safely in your arms and I hope, with every fiber of my being that tonight is the last night that you will ever have to go to bed (if you are even able to sleep) wondering where your baby boy is. 

If Hopley (or whomever has Kienan right now) reads this: bring that little boy back to where he belongs.  Bring him back his family.  You have brought so much pain to the Heberts, the people of Sparwood and all the communities - big or small - that have been hurting with and for the Heberts, to your mother.  For once in your life, do something right and let that sweet little boy go home to his parents and siblings.

To everyone else reading this (especially those in BC, Alberta and Washington):  it is the RCMP's belief that if they find the car belonging to Hopley, they'll find Hopley and they'll find Kienan.  Please keep your eyes peeled for a light brown, 1987 Toyota Camry with a BC license plate 098 RAL.  If you see this vehicle, don't be a hero! Don't be a vigilante!  Get as good a look as you safely can and immediately call the police and let them know exactly where you saw the vehicle, exactly when, and exactly what it was doing (is the vehicle parked?  Driving north towards Fort St. John?  Is the driver driving erratically?) and by all means, KEEP YOURSELF SAFE!!  You won't be helping anyone if you engage Hopley, least of all that little boy.

Randall Hopley, the person suspected of abducting Kienan Hebert.

.

Hopley drives a 1987 Toyota Camry, believed to look like this one.  BC license plate is 098 RAL

________________________________________________________

 *****UPDATE 9.10.2011*****

• Please go to the Find Kienan Hebert page for important updates and information.  When there, print out a photo of Kienan and post it around your neighbourhood with a yellow ribbon.  There are vigils being held in communities all over BC and Alberta.  If there's one in your area, please consider going.   
• The Amber Alert has been officially extended to Alberta, Canada and Washington, USA. 
• For the fourth day, 500 volunteers are actively searching for Kienan in and around Sparwood, including a search party headed by Sarah Gasparetto who is searching off the beaten path. 
• Police confirm that there was an attempted abduction in Sparwood earlier on the day Kienan was taken.
• The follow quote is a message from Kienan's parents to the abductor:

  "Speaking to whoever has Kienan right now.  We are just asking please bring Kienan to a safe place right now.  Okay.  Like a gas station or a store parking lot where he is visibly seen and you can just drop him off there.  Walk away.  We just want him safe.  Kienan is only three-years-old right now, and as you know and we know, Kienan can't speak.  So he can't tell us who you are.  This is your chance now to get away. All we want is Kienan to come back with us and to be safe in our arms again.  Thank you,"

The evils of Wal-Mart

So yesterday, I posted a status on my Facebook.  It was "Wal-Mart + Labour Day = Really Bad Idea!!"  It was unbelievably busy there, yesterday!  It was like it was Boxing Day there.  Busier, in fact! Unfortunately it was unavoidable because I had a prescription that needed filling and Wal-Mart is the cheapest option.   To the uninitiated, Facebook has this feature that will sometimes show you your status (or a friends' status) from exactly a year ago.  I put that post up to A) Warn people to stay away from Wal-Mart that day, to save them a headache and B) To serve as a reminder in case I or my partner gets a thought to go to Wal-Mart next year on Labour Day to stay the hell away.

Turns out this status was incredibly controversial. A well meaning friend of mine took issue with the fact that we spend our money at a place like Wal-Mart.  Other friends, and myself, defended our decisions to shop there.  It wound up being rather heated, so I thought that maybe this is worth a blog post.

I don't think too many people actually like to shop at Wal-Mart.  So often, I see friends posting on their Facebook that they have to go shopping at Wal-Mart and ask us to wish them luck.  Alternatively, I will see posts where they returned from Wal-Mart and they're asking themselves (on Facebook) just what they were thinking going there.  I imagine, if people actually enjoyed shopping at Wal-Mart, the website People of Wal-Mart wouldn't be nearly as popular.  You don't see websites like People of Superstore, People of Sears, People of Zellers.  Shopping at Wal-Mart carries a certain social stigma.

We all know, that Wal-Mart is more concerned with lining their coffers than they are with supporting fair trade, local businesses, ethical business practices.  We all know this.  The fact of the matter is: due to the current financial climate, aforementioned questionable/unethical business practices of big box stores, inability to work/find work, etc. many of us are in a position where we need to weigh our need to support our family and make every dollar stretch as far as possible with our need to stand on ethical/moral high ground.  When you're living from paycheque to paycheque or worse, you can't afford to have morals.  You're not proud of that, you don't say it out loud, but it's the truth.

In an ideal world, we'd be able to afford to shop locally.  We'd buy our books from the small bookstores (and those bookstores would be able to stock the books that we wish to buy), we'd buy our clothes from local boutiques (and those boutiques would be able to sell clothes in all sizes), we'd buy our groceries from local grocery stores (and they'd be able to afford to stock the shelves with what we need/want at a competitive price, and we wouldn't have to go to one store to buy produce, another to buy meat, another to buy bread.. so on and so forth.  I find it hard to argue the ethics of shopping locally, when you're driving from store to store to store wasting fuel and polluting the earth with the exhaust from your vehicle), and we'd be able to ALSO rail against big box stores' and their refusal of fair trade practices. 

Having said that, when the choice is my child's well being or someone else's well being the decision will just about always be my child.  Maybe, just maybe, choosing my child will enable him to grow up and go into a profession that provides him with the means and/or opportunity to defend those (possibly even those making wares for Wal-Mart and their ilk) who need defending.

I can live with that, and my child won't want for food, clothing and shelter. 


Writer's Note: 

I have attached links that provide those with the means to donate to organizations that focus on putting an end to child labour, articles about child labour, support fair trade practices, and a list of articles that list items made using fair trade practices.  It's a short list so far but please, if you know of other links that will help educate consumers or aid in the fight for fair trade and a stop to forced/child labour let me know, and I will add it to the list.

UNICEF
Save the Children - India
FairTrade.net
Where to buy Fair Trade products

Faith the "Warrior Princess"

Because I know this little girl is someone that is near and dear to some of my friends' hearts, I am going to dedicate this post to Faith, the Warrior Princess.  What is written below is a summary of the difficult war she has been battling against cancer.  I was going to say it's a brief summary, but there's no such thing as a "brief summary" when talking about one's battle with cancer.  Some of it may be difficult to read, but imagine how difficult it is for this little girl and her family to have to live through it.  

Faith was 7 years old on April 19th when she was diagnosed with Osteogenic Sarcoma in her left deltoid and shoulder. She started Chemo at Doernbecher Children's Hospital, but the chemo didn't work. The tumor grew and we were told her arm would need to be amputated. Two days before that was to occur, Dr. "Chappie" Conrad of Seattle Children's Hospital did a limb salvage surgery and saved her left arm from just above the elbow down through her hand. She has 'medical play-doh' for a left shoulder and a ceramic encased steel rod in her upper arm. She continued her chemo at Doernbecher until the protocol ended January 2011.

On April 15th, 2011, she was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer, and had lung surgery on both May 3rd and May 23rd, 2011. At the beginning of July, 2011, her cancer again metastacised to her left lung - the upper lobe has a 4cm+ tumor in it that grew in 4 weeks and cannot be removed at this time, as it is wrapped around the pulmonary vessel.

We were flown to Doernbecher on Monday, July 18th, after a weekend in our local hospital, where it was discovered that she had a pleural effusion (liquid between the left lung and chest wall.) At Doernbecher, they began by draining 1/2 liter of fluid from her chest. She also had a mass on her jaw that it took several weeks to figure out - the final answer was Osteogenic Sarcoma in the soft tissue wrapped around her left mandible. She started a new chemo protocol for metastasis that has a published 30% response rate. She was also given 5 high doses of radiation, for palliative care, hoping to reduce her pain and possibly shrink the tumor. They again needed to drain her chest cavity that had built back up, this time taking 1.75 liters of fluid and leaving in a chest tube. After one round of chemo, and both the mass in her jaw and chest growing, we stopped the chemo as it obviously wasn't working. It's still undetermined whether or not the radiation worked. Her jaw and cheek are still extremely swollen at this point - the last radiation was Friday, August 5th.

We were told that at this point, because her cancer has been resistant to everything, the doctors they believe she has anywhere from 4-6 weeks left with us. They did discover a 'mutated gene' in the biopsy from her chest that has not been seen before (or not discovered) in Osteogenic Sarcoma patients. She would be eligible for a clinical trial 2-weeks after discontinuing radiation, if she is ambulatory and not oxygen dependent. This gene is one that is seen in adult lung cancer patients, but has not been tried on pediatric Osteo patients. Time and the good Lord will let us know if this is meant to be. We were told that this would not be a "cure" but if it worked at all, might just prolong the inevitable.

We were flown home today and Faith will be on hospice care until/unless we are led down a different path. We ask that you encourage, support and pray for our sweet Warrior Princess as she continues to battle for her life ♥

Here are some ways you can help:

• On Faith's Facebook page, Faith's Friends, there is a FundRazr tab.  You can donate by PayPal directly through this page.
• My friend, owner/founder of Cathy's Creations has created some beautiful pieces of jewellery (a bracelet, a charm and a ring) for Faith's Friends.  Proceeds of the jewellery goes to Faith's family to help with medical costs.  She also has a lot of wonderful jewellery, some of it attached to a specific cause, and puts a lot of love into the pieces she makes.
• On Cathy's Creation's Facebook page, there will be an auction for a brand new HP Touchpad on August 27th, 2011.  The auction will start at 9am EST and end at 3pm EST; starting bid is $150.  She will post the same photo that day when the auction starts and all you have to do is place your bid under the photo.  ALL proceeds from this auction will go directly to Faith's family.  You get a shiny new toy, and you can know that the money you spent on it went to a good cause.
• The Dinner Roll is accepting contributions for Faith's family.  When they are in need of a meal, they can call the Dinner Roll, order what they would like from 15 different local restaurants and have it delivered at no additional cost! You can contact The Dinner Roll at: 541-772-7655. The account name is Jolayne Fulmer. I think this is something people forget about all the time.  The families are hit hard when they are faced with a battle against cancer, and something as simple as making a meal can sometimes be way too overwhelming.  
• There is a Sensational Scentsy fundraiser, that you can be linked to through Facebook.  The woman organizing it is donating 50% of her commission from August 15th, 2011 - September 2nd, 2011 to Faith's family to help with medical costs. 

I know times are tough right now for a lot of people - believe me, I know! - so it may be really hard, if not impossible, to help out financially.  Spreading the word however, is free.  Forward this post to everyone you know who can help financially or who knows someone who can help. 

Faith is a mover of mountains,

And there's nothing that God cannot do,

So start out today with Faith in your heart 

And climb till your dream comes true!

Just Stop

The other day, a well meaning friend of mine posted a status update on Facebook depicting a scene of a child being abused by his mother and ended the status with “copy and paste this for 1 hour if you’re against CHILD ABUSE”.   When I read the status, I physically winced as it reminded me of things that my family had to live through with my biological father.  I actually felt like I was violated, reading that status. 

There are a lot of these types of statuses out there: “My country is better than any other country in the world, so we shouldn’t help foreigners.  Have the guts to repost this.  1% will repost”, “Copy and paste this if you love your mother.  I bet none of you will.”, “How many people actually read my status and listen to what I have to say.  Copy and paste this to see if your friends actually care about you. Do you dare?”

To those of you who are posting these statues, I beg of you: please stop! 

These statuses are, at best, emotionally manipulative.  At worst, they make me want to not bother reading your status updates, so that when you have something of worth to say, I’m not going to see it.  I don’t support child abuse; I do advocate more support and awareness for mental illnesses; I do love my mom and step-dad.   I don’t, however, love these passive aggressive bullying tactics your statuses employ.   Furthermore, the ones that state “only 1% of people will have the guts to repost this” Is intellectually insulting.  You don’t actually think there are any statistics on the repostability (yeah, I totally just made that word up) of a particular status, do you? 

I guess these statuses are just the next generation of chain letters, but those are equally as awful.  Writing a letter 21 times for 21 different friends within 7 days while standing on my head will not cure that little Lithuanian girl’s alopecia!  If you actually believe that, then I’d like to introduce you to this Nigerian prince I know.  My mother, who I love very much despite the fact that I didn’t copy and paste the status that “proves” just how much I love her, wrote a great post about breaking chain letters that I think every one of you who posts these statuses should read.  Until then, I’m going to repost a status my fiancé wrote that sums this up perfectly: 

“Don't use your Facebook status to tell me to do stuff - you don't really think I hate you, ignore you, and you're not going to kill that puppy if I don't do what you say. Repost this and I'll know you read it, thought it was witty, and agreed with it - I won't read any more into it than that.”

Tarnished Star

So I have been on the tweety box for a couple of years now and it's a social media tool that I really like, as it allows you to take part in a conversation that you otherwise wouldn't be able to be a part of in be it political matters, health issues, movie reviews or etc. 

Like on Facebook, I try to limit the amount of people/companies I follow, mostly because I don't want to get inundated with status updates or tweets.  I don't want to spend my day catching up on tweets that I missed while I was sleeping (not that I would anyhow, but still).  Since I have a limited amount of people i follow on Twitter, I am used to the pattern that emerges from the people I've been following for a while, so I can almost automatically filter out the tweets I want to catch up on and the one's I don't.  Additionally, when I start following someone new, their tweets stick out a bit more.

Recently I started following a celebrity I've enjoyed watching on various movies and television series'. 
This person has always seemed to play the staunch, no-nonsense military type characters, but not I didn't put much thought into whether or not there was a reason why this person always seemed to play these kind of characters.  I just figured that the person looked the part, so it would make sense why they would be cast in such a role.

Now, maybe it's just me, but when I think of staunch, no-nonsense military type people I tend to think of ultra-conservative, very right-leaning people in a crisp uniform.  Maybe that's not fair, but I guess I'm a victim of media (though, in my defense, I also think that anyone serving in the military is worthy of our respect and admiration.  They're doing for our countries what we're not willing or able to do ourselves.  *sigh* I look forward to your letters).  Again though, when I see a person playing the part on camera, I don't assume that they're like that off camera.  I seem to have forgotten that these actors also choose the parts they play.  Perhaps many actors seem as if they are typecast into certain roles/characters when really, because of their own personal experiences, views, and ideologues they feel drawn towards these roles; they feel as if they can identify with the character.

I logged on to the tweety today and noticed some of the new tweeters tweets and I'm not going to lie.  I was pretty disappointed.  I went directly to this person's profile and went over a bunch of their tweets and I just saw a lot of condescension, arrogance, flame baiting and stupid, uneducated close-minded remarks. I felt like that person's star had fallen a little bit; at least in my eyes.  Obviously I have people I follow who's opinions and views I may not agree with, but I want to be able to follow people I disagree with without them being disagreeable.

I felt as if I was let down, somehow.  Like this person had violated some unspoken law or some such nonsense.  Upon further reflection though, I felt that maybe this is a good thing.  Sure, twitter and Facebook, and the age of social media and instant communication/gratification, people feel as if celebrities are more accessible, but what we are also seeing is that these people are flawed individuals, just as we are.  I have never been one for star gazing in the way of reading gossip rags and watching entertainment "news" shows, but I like the idea of people realizing that these celebrities who every actions they read about, tweet about, comment on, and fret over are just as imperfect and fragile as everyone else is.  They just do it all in front of a camera. 

Who knows; maybe twitter will put an end to the likes of TMZ and the paparazzi.  Huh.  Wouldn't that be something?