Monday, May 2, 2011

Green Tulips

It's been five years, but you were hurting for a long time before that day, weren't you?

We tried to get you help.  You spoke about your pain, but not always.  Right?  There were some dark secrets that you didn't let anyone shine a light on, weren't there?  Not enough people listening to your cries of pain.  We heard them.  We thought we were listening, but we fooled ourselves, didn't we?  You fooled us, didn't you?

Do you know how much we loved you?  Do you know how much we still love you?  Some of us are a little mad at you, do you know that?  Because you stole from us.  You robbed us blind and you disappeared, so it's not like we can get what you stole back.  We can't get you back.  That's what you stole.  You goddamned thief!  I want what you took back!

I miss you.  I think about you all the time.  I can't imagine how much it hurts the others.  You were their family.  They knew you better than anyone.  Did any of us know you?  Did the right people know you?

There weren't any tulips.  I'm sorry.  We would have brought tulips.  We should have brought green tulips.

If you're feeling like you have no options and that suicide is your only way out, please don't.  There are resources out there to help you - free of judgment, acrimony and shame.  Please.

If you're a teen or kid who needs someone to talk to that isn't your mom or dad or teacher (though you CAN talk to them!), please try these resources: 

If you're First Nations, and you want to talk to someone who would be more sensitive to what it is like being First Nations and in need of someone to listen to you, please check out this resource:

If you're LGBT or questioning, and think there's no way you can live this life because of the abuse you suffer at the hands of bullying, please go to:

If you suspect someone is suicidal, but don't know what signs to look for, please read this:

Are you in search for some coping mechanisms?  Please go to this link to learn a simple way to cope that might just help.  If it doesn't, that's okay.  There are so many ways to cope.  The author is a pyschotherapist who is dedicated to mental health and mental health awareness.


  1. I am so sorry. I struggle with suicide because I cannot imagine how bad things must feel for that to be the only option a person feels they have. It hurts me to think of the pain they must have endured. And the real tragedy is the people that are left behind that will never find answers. xoxoxo

  2. Mindy, you don't have the right to call Melissa a 'thief' she stole nothing from you and owes you nothing! you are not her blood relative and you should not be making public posts about other peoples loved family when you yourself are not even her family. I don't appreciate Melissa being remember this way as you have portrayed her, you don't know the details and should not be posting them like you do. You have wrote wrong accusations about her and I would appreciate it if you had the common courtesy to not write these things. How would you feel if I started a public blog about your son and posted accusations and very very personal things about your son? he is your family and you would not want this said about your family so please take down your green tulip blog and worry about your own family problems and not anyone elses business. thank you!!!