Russell Peters and his “felonies waiting to happen”

From pretty much the beginning of Russell Peters’ career, I have been a supporter of his.  His jokes were original, it took the veil off of a lot of issues, and they were funny and relatable.  For a few years, he was in town on my birthday, but I wouldn’t find out until after I was committed to plans, or the tickets would be sold out by the time I found out, so I’ve never been able to see him live.  That had been a long time goal of mine.

His last two specials (particularly the latest Netflix one) haven’t done much for me.  It was almost exclusively recycled jokes from his previous specials and I literally fell asleep during the last one, so I couldn’t even tell you if there was any original content.  Actually, no, that’s not true.  There was a lot of content making fun of his ex-wife.  I remember thinking “man, your daughter is going to watch this stuff as she gets older.  Do you really want her to hear this stuff?”

I understand and accept that comedy is subjective and should be left largely uncensored.  I also don’t agree with boycotting venues that host comedians who toe, or out-right cross the line from humor to crass, obscene, and vulgar.  The venues often don’t have creative control over content, and just because you don’t find it funny, doesn’t mean someone else does.

Comedy is an escapism, and should be left at that.

There are subjects in comedy that I sometimes don’t find humorous (generally they’re jokes that can in some way promote/condone/normalize hate of any form) but I just either tune them out during that time, or straight up stop watching (depends on the venue and whether or not other people are with me) when that’s the case.  I recognize that just because it’s not my personal brand of humour, doesn’t make it someone else’s.   I also recognize that sometimes comedians make these jokes to shine a light on those issues that people are often uncomfortable talking about, or are a characterization of the ridiculousness of those who support hate.  I am perfectly capable of laughing at some of these jokes, given the right context or the history of that particular comedian.

Where I draw the line, personally, is when the jokes promote rape culture.  This should never be funny. It should never be defended.

Let me repeat myself.  Sexual violence is not funny.

On April 2, 2017, this year’s co-host of the Juno Awards, Russel Peters, went off script and made a joke that has – at least in Canada – potentially left a permanent, Michael Richards sized mark on his rather illustrious career.  Standing on the stage, surrounded by many girls in the audience who – to me – clearly look as though they are in their mid-teens, Peters says “Wow, look at these young girls!  It’s like a felony waiting to happen!” This joke promotes statutory rape.  It’s not funny, and this needs to stop. 

Here are some Canadian statistics (direct from Stats Canada) about rape.  As you read this, understand that I am one of these statistics – the first half apply directly to me.  For some people, ALL of these facts apply to them.  In a lot of ways, I was one of the “lucky ones”:

1.       Of every 100 incidents of sexual assault, only 6 are reported to the police
o   Thanks to my mom’s bravery, my abuse was reported
2.       1 in 4 North American women will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime
o   All (yes all) of my incidents of my sexual abuse have taken place in North America
3.       60% of sexual abuse/assault victims are under the age of 17
o   I was as young as five
4.       Over 80% of sex crime victims are women
o   I’m a woman.  A proud woman who has survived rape
5.       80% of sexual assault incidents occur in the home
o   Each time
6.       17% of girls under 16 have experienced some form of incest
o   This applies to me
7.       Half of all sexual offenders are married or in long term relationships
o   My first abuser was a married man
8.       80% of assailants are friends and family of the victim
o   My first abuser was my bio-“father”
9.       Only 2 - 4% of all sexual assaults reported are false reports
o   That number is far too high, and often delegitimizes the other 96 – 98% of actual victims
10.   1 - 2% of "date rape" sexual assaults are reported to the police
o   And that’s just based off of empirical data
11.   11% of women have physical injury resulting for sexual assault
o   This is where I am one of the lucky ones
12.   83% of disabled women will be sexual assaulted during their lifetime
o   Again, this is where I’m one of the lucky ones
13.   15% of sexual assault victims are boys under 16
o   This is just of the reported victims
14.   57% of aboriginal women have been sexually abuse
o   If you think sexual assault is under-reported, you should look at the statistics related to abuse amongst aboriginal women.  It’s even more depressing
15.   1/5th of all sexual assaults involve a weapon of some sort
o   A lot of abusers just know how to groom or incapacitate their victims such that they don’t require weapons.

 

When Russell Peters made this joke about statutory rape, he joked about each of my instances of rape.  He joked about me. I am the subject of these jokes.

 

There should be no room in comedy for rape.  It’s just that simple.

 

Peters has remained mute on this topic, except for liking some tweets where he was being defended. To me, this speaks volumes, and when he comes on my TV, I will be hitting mute.

How Can I Help?

As I get inundated/inundate myself with much of the news that’s being discussed around water coolers, gyms, dinner tables, and Facebook walls throughout the world relating to the new Trump administration, I am often sitting here thinking to myself, “how can I help effect change?”

How can I make life safer for my community of amazing people around the world, and in the US in particular?

Being in Canada, how can I lend a hand and show solidarity to those in the US who I love that are part of the black community, the Muslim community, the First Nations community, the LGBT+ community, the community of women, the community of teachers, the middle class and the unemployed, and all the other countless amazing communities that are out there right now who are hurting, crying, afraid, and desperate? 

What can I do, beyond my deluge of social media posts, to bring about awareness and social change to those who may not agree with me but are willing to listen?

I’m honestly asking here, because I simply don’t know.

I feel exasperated and hamstrung in my ineffectiveness. I have signed petitions that have led to nowhere but made me feel good for a minute.  I have engaged with trolls (and those who are in a quasi-trolly mood, but aren’t really trolls, they’re just feeling like they’re not being heard so they act like trolls which make people not want to hear them and so they act MORE like trolls) in the comments section.  I have donated to various causes.  I have cheered on my friends who have put jobs/friendships on the line to protest this tyrannical administration.  I have done all of this from the comfort of my home.  I haven’t actually DONE anything.  I just clicked a few buttons, tapped a few keys, and mentally patted myself on the back for being a good person.

There was a vigil today to grieve with the local Muslim community in the wake of yesterday’s mass shooting in Quebec.  Mass shootings are an anomaly in Canada; they happen so rarely happen that the entire nation is rocked to its very core (this is the fourth mass shooting since 2014).  Sadly, it wasn’t until after the vigil ended that I found out about it so I wasn’t able to attend.  There’s a subsequent one on Saturday that I will be out of town for, so again, I can’t attend.  So again, I sit here frustrated in my inactivity. 

I see way too many parallels between this new Trump administration and the rise of the Nazi regime and it scares me.  Not in the *excuse me as I attempt to type like Kim K sounds* “like, omg those poor, like... people” kind of scared.  But in the “Holy shit, maybe those crazy Preppers are on to something, and we need to seriously consider making a bug out bag.” kind of scared.  I genuinely fear that we are witnessing Nazi Germany 2.0 in the making, and I am equally terrified that as loud as everyone is about speaking out against this horrific scene developing, we aren’t being loud enough.  The poem “First They Came...” has been running through my head in a constant loop for over a week now. 

I want and need to speak for the Socialists, and the Trade Unionists, and Jews... because soon, someone will need to speak for me.  I am terrified that the meager things I have done have amounted to nothing, and I as good as silent. 

I need to go look at puppies and baby sloths, because...

 

I feel my zen coming back a bit...

OMG they’re in a bucket!

How is he even real <3

Awww, he’s tired

Let’s just end this here
http://www.kittycatcam.com/

Can you afford it?

So today the husband, the kid, and I went down stateside to hang out and do a bit of shopping.  Before we started our shopping marathon, we decided to stop for lunch at Taco Time.  Through a miscommunication, we wound up getting two extra tacos that none of us ended up having.  We saved the tacos, figuring we could eat it later, or better yet, give it to someone who's hungry. 

We went shopping at Ross for an hour or so, and then on our way back to the car, I notice a guy sitting in the parking lot under the blazing hot sun. I've seen him there before, and I've given him food each time I've seen him, since we always seem to have leftovers from some restaurant or another.  Today was no exception. 

Here's the crazy part: When I gave him the food, his reaction was, "Are you sure you can afford this? Thank you!  Are you sure?"  This guy, a Navy vet (according to his sign), is hungry, homeless, sitting under the blazing sun, and his primary concern was making sure *I* wasn't going to go hungry or put myself out by giving him this food.  Let's be real here - if I didn't give this guy our food, I was going to turf it.  And this guy was worried... for *me*.  After I just spent $70 on clothes that I didn't *really* need.   I was so moved I started to cry. 

We often forget how incredibly rich we are.  We take our three squares a day, our overabundance of snacks, our drinks at the bar, all of that stuff for granted.  We gorge ourselves on Ben and Jerry's and then complain... we complain about how full we are!  We whine about being fat.  We joke about how this bottle of wine is going to cost us a couple of hours at the gym.  Then when some person who's obviously living on the streets has the temerity to ask us for the spare change in our pockets so they can get something to eat, we lie that we don't have any.  Or that we can't spare any. 

This is a lie.  Most of us probably don't have the resources to do what FouseyTube,  MagicofRahat, or Sofia's Angels do.  But that doesn't mean we can't do something.

I'm going to try to do something.







(PS: Sorry if the post ended somewhat abruptly.  It started to sound a bit preachy.  I didn't like that, and it's late.  So I ended it where I did.)

White Privilege

The evening of the George Zimmerman not guilty (*cough*bullspit*cough*) verdict was passed down, I saw this status on Facebook.

I'm crying, crying, crying. My God, I thought that at some point... you know what? Last fall I bought my 3 boys cheapie hoodies from Walmart for the fall. I have to remind my 8 and 6 year old to not wear the hats on their hoodies, I bought them separate hats to cover their heads. I tell them at home you can wear the hoods, but never in public. My baby boy said "But mom, that's what it's there for, to cover our head" but I have to train them up. I have to TRAIN them that it can be dangerous for them. Honestly, I think most of y'all are good people, but please realize that this is REAL SHIT to Black people. I don't want to teach my boys this, but I have to. God, my heart is broken and I can't stop crying.

I haven't been able to not think about this since I read it.  This is something Mini-Moo won't ever have to worry about, and that depresses me.  Not because my son won't ever have to worry about wearing a hoody out in public, or worry about his name sounding too "ethnic" (*cough*bullspit*cough*) to get a job and therefore adopting an "employable" nickname (read: "White" name), or worry about being pulled over for speeding and making sure he behaves in such a way the police won't misinterpret his actions as aggressive.  It depresses me because other parents have to train their kids to worry about this stuff.

This is the reality of 2013 - still.  And the thing is, this isn't something we can claim is an American problem.  This is as much an issue in Canada, and the people who get the crap end of the stick in the want of racial equality are First Nations.  One really solid indicator of this is the prison population.

In Canada, aboriginals make up about four per cent of the general Canadian population, yet make up 23 per cent of the prison population.  Racial over-representation in the prison system is equally as horrid in the United States.  According to the US Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) non-Hispanic blacks accounted for 39.4% of the total prison and jail population in 2009.  According to the 2010 census of the US Census Bureau blacks (including Hispanic blacks) comprised 13.6% of the US population.  In this infographic you can see how the system is really built to favour the white population in the US and while there isn't a well laid out (if poorly proof-read) infographic to show it, the same is true for the Canadian penal system. 

For years, I've been really guilty of thinking, "well, I'm not a racist.  I value all races equally so this racism thing everyone talks about is a problem, but it's not a problem in my life."  Sure, I'd get upset when I see evidence/footage of inequality but by and large, I was indifferent to it.   Not with any malice aforethought, I just was.  I think an overwhelming, well-meaning majority of us have been/are.  It seems like such a huge issue, while at the same time, such an old issue.  I mean, Martin Luther King Jr. gave that epic speech, and the States has a black president who's serving his second term, right?  What's left to be done? 

There's a lot to be done.  Exactly what, and how - I have no clue. I have to hope that not being blinded about being "colourblind" is at least a start.  There is no post-racial America.  If you still have to say "port-racism America" then it's not.  Nor is that the case in Canada.

If you're still reading this (thanks!) and you come from a European background and live in North America, think about the fact that you and I have never had to encounter the same levels of racism as others have.  We may have experienced moments here and there, but it's not a systemic occurrence.  We haven't had to be trained not to trust police, to not speak about cultural events, or wear certain clothing.

We shouldn't feel guilty about being white, but we should be aware of this, be aware of how utterly unfair this is, and be aware that if we want equality for everyone, we need to start saying that this isn't okay.  For decades, we've stood by and watched as Blacks, Natives, and Hispanics have fought for equal treatment and we've felt good about ourselves because we agreed with their point of view. 


It's not enough anymore.

Contest Time!

Hello friends!

So I'm going to be running at least one or two contests over the next few days to promote the Mario Marathon.

The first contest is Perler Portrait!

Every $10 donated via my blog (using the donate button to the right) before June 21, 2013, 9:00 PM (PST) gets you one entry to win a custom made Perler portrait. Email a screen grab of your donation to runningwithdithers@outlook.com and you'll be added to the draw.

The winner will be announced on this blog and will need to email their photo so that I can pixelate it and turn it into Perler awesomeness.  It will take a couple of weeks to make it (need to make sure I have the right amount of the right coloured beads), but I'll get it out to you ASAP.

So start donating, and look as awesome as Mr. Jackson up there!

Road Trip Travel Tips

 My family and I love traveling and between us have driven across most of Canada and America.  It's been a long time since I've posted anything (sorry!  It's been a hectic 5 months or so) but my partner has been amazing enough to write something for me.  He's basically a young Rick Steves when it comes to traveling, so pay attention.

These days advice about how to have a good roadtrip seems to revolve around what apps you have on your phone, I would like to provide something a bit more substantial to those of you planning to hit the road...

In-car Entertainment: Don't rely on a cell phone app that may require data coverage or drain your battery, bring a broad selection of mp3s and give everyone unlimited vetos - peace and enjoyment restored reliably. Bring a video game for the kid but just one game so it can be used as needed but not be a focus for the entire trip.

Shotgun Responsibilities: The person riding shotgun should operate and interpret the GPS and provide snacks to the driver upon request, also helping out with changing music and finding sunglasses and whatnot - this makes for a safer, happier drive.

Don't Fear The Stop: Don't hate on the guy who needs a bathroom break, this is a chance to dump garbage, refuel, clean the windows, stretch your legs, resupply, etc. It's an opportunity for all or a frustration for most depending on how you look at it.

Be Flexible: Unexpected stops, missed exits, and things spotted along the way can lead to great discoveries and experiences - keep your itinerary flexible and don't fall in love with an idea to the exclusion of others.

Be Prepared: Don't plan every meal but bring information on major restaurants near every hotel stay. Provide everyone options and give everyone a chance to express their opinion. Superior information makes for a superior experience.

If you want more posts like this, or more posts "ghost written" by my partner, please comment on this post and I will accommodate as best as I can.

Over the next week or so I will have some more content on here as the Mario Marathon is starting again on June 21st. My donation widget is on the right; it would be awesome if you could donate.  Those of you who know me and my blog know that I'm a huge supporter of Mario Marathon and Child's Play Charity.  Those of you who aren't familiar with me and my blog, there are a number of posts explaining what both are all about and why I go on and on about them.  The labels associated with this post will direct you to those posts. 

See you all soon!

This Christmas...

This Christmas/holiday season I hereby issue a challenge:

Don't buy anything for your loved ones! 

Pretty crazy, I know, but hear me out.  

Today I finally got around to tackling a task I really don't like doing, which is clearing our kitchen table.  It's basically a catchall for junk mail and random doodads that we don't know what to do with just yet.  I avoid it as often as possible, but eventually it has to be done.  Anyhow, as I was clearing out, I stumbled upon a World Vision gift catalogue.  Intrigued, I put it aside while I finished my task at hand.

After finishing, I decided to thumb through the catalogue; what I saw brought me to tears.  Even talking to my fiance about it 10 minutes later caused me to break down in tears, yet again.  Sure, commercials can make me cry, but that's beside the point.  Did you know, that for $30CAD, you can give 10 children the gift of health?  For $35CAD, you can give 3 families the gift of self-reliance.  Forty five dollars gives the gift of literacy, education, independence, the chance for freedom to a classroom full of children.  For only $100CAD, you can give entire communities the gift of life.

So little is needed to give so much to so many people.  How many of us have a wish list of things that we want for our birthdays or Christmas (or whatever gift giving celebration you participate in)?  How many of us are fretting, thinking, "Oh, god!  What am I going to get Mom and Dad this year?" How many of us get nauseated at the idea of having to brave yet another mall excursion to get a $50 toy for your kid, who already has a room full of toys, and who may only play with that toy a half dozen times - if even that much?

Okay yes, not actually getting anything for your kids (the ones who aren't grown, at any rate) may seem a bit harsh, but I do encourage you to think about how much you're willing to spend on everyone, and how much of an impact even a fraction of what you will spend this year will have on people who really do need our help. 

How about this?  Instead of not buying anyone any gifts this holiday season, consider making a donation to World Vision, or whatever organization you wish to donate to in the name of at least one person on your list.  Chances are, they will be moved that someone loved them enough to save a bunch of people in their name. 

PS: I have the pleasure of getting to know a person by the name of Cathy on Facebook.  She has a business page called Cathy's Creations and she knows, perhaps more than most, the joy helping someone can bring.  She puts a fair bit of time (I'm assuming, judging by how many packages she sends out on a weekly basis) into making beautiful bracelets (among many other things).  One line of bracelets she makes are "Cause Jewelery".  Proceeds from the bracelets goes to various (American) health organizations, children's charities (usually for a specific child who has to spend much of their short life fighting cancer or some other life threatening condition), or awareness efforts.  She has touched many, many lives, brought joy and hope to many children and their families, and has inspired a lot of us to get off our duffs and do the same. 

I've been off work for nearly 8 months now, but I'm going back soon.  One of the first things I'm going to do with my first paycheque is buy a coat for the man who sits outside my local grocery store.  I don't know his name, or what brought him to his current situation (though, I can't help but wonder how much he would benefit from more efforts/funding for social housing in our city) but I do know that he is kind to my son, and doesn't have a clean coat to keep him warm and dry.  That's all I need to know. 

I can't help but wonder if I would have been inspired to do this, had it not been for the inspiration we get from all the kind, selfless, wonderful things she does for so many people.  I'm not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan or Buddhist, but truly believe that Cathy is doing something that transcends humanity.