Her Unfull Arms

Her arms are loaded down  -  overflowing  -  bare

But will they every be full?

Knowing her child won't ever be in her loving embrace?

A mother's arms provide love  - comfort  - strength

Her child is now somewhere else  - gone  - taken

Dead

Love a mother when she hugs you

With her unfull arms.

My Pinto Plan

Lamborghini Driver Can't Afford Ticket - Car Impounded

Have I ever told you about my Pinto Plan?

About ten years ago, I was riding in a car (a 1984 Toyota Celica that had a very temperamental clutch) with a friend of mine when someone drove past us, weaving in and out of traffic at dangerous speeds, with an “L” on the back of his car (for those not in BC, an “L” sign displayed in the back of your car indicates that you essentially have a learner’s permit).  He was driving a Spider.  To say I was irked is to say a sonic boom is a little bit loud.  On the spot I came up with my Pinto Plan. 

I want to get a beat up junker of a car.  I want it to look like the last time it received any love was right before it came off the line in 1976.  The more varied in colour the panels are, the better.  The duller the majority of the paint is the better.  Trim, if any at all, should only be present on no more than two thirds of the car. Where the trim is missing, tiny rust holes should be in its place.  I want the car to look like the VW below, only in worse looking shape.  When Adam Sandler wrote Piece of Sh Car, he was thinking of this car. 

I then plan to gut out the existing engine, and drop the biggest engine into the car that I can get away with.  Perhaps a 1,984 cc 2 liter 4 in-line front transverse engine (apparently the engine the Jetta was rocking in The Fast and The Furious).  It will be a 10 second car (NOS would be nice, but unless I plan on taking this car to Ashcroft or Mission drag strips and racing for pinks, somewhat unnecessary) .  It will have a false exhaust pipe coming out the back that will look so rusty that the next strong gust of wind could cause it to completely crumble into dust.  The false exhaust pipe will actually be connected to a fog machine that will be sitting in the trunk.  The fog machine will have some black and blue powder in it so that to anyone walking by the car it would look like it is burning oil.  Duct tape would be all over the interior of the car… and probably parts of the car outside. 

Once it’s perfectly ugly and running like a dream machine, I’m going to drive up to these 16 year old kids driving their brand new Mercedes S-Class, BMW 760, or Audi A8 that they defiled with racing stickers, sound systems too bottom heavy so that all you hear is rumbling and not the actual song itself, and several ridiculous bobble head air freshener things along the dashboard and back (seriously, what the hell?) at a red light, make it clear that I intend to beat them off the line (they will laugh and laugh.  Who is this ridiculous woman, thinking she can beat us off the line?  Has she seen her car?), and then I will do exactly that – by a wide margin.  Their jaws will hit the floor; their friends in the car with them will fail miserably at containing their howls of laughter; they will get a healthy dose of humility; in a perfect world, they will learn the importance of respecting the powerful machine they have been fortunate enough to receive and follow the rules of the road, not be a danger to the other cars on the road, not park like assholes, and turn down the bass, turn up the treble, and listen to the actual song and not the rumble. 

That’s my Pinto Plan.

And the winner is...

MALFUNCT!

Congratulations, Malfunct!  Please DM me your shoe size and any specific things you'd like to see on your shoes and I will get started as soon as I pick up some shoes.  Thanks for supporting my blog and more importantly the Mario Marathon and Child's Play Charity!

New deadline

Okay, y'all!  I really want to get as many donations through my blog as possible so that more money goes to the Mario Marathon for Child's Play Charity.

I have extended the deadline from 4:30 PM PST June 24, 2012 to 6:00 PM PST June 25, 2012. 

Every $5 donation through my blog gets you an entry into winning a pair of custom made Mario shoes.  So if you -or someone you know- really want a pair of custom made Mario themed shoes (what's your shoe size? Are there specific characters you want on there?  Levels you like the best?  Let me know and I will accommodate you as best I can!) but don't want to shell out upwards of $230USD for them, then donate through my blog and you may be able to get your very own pair.

Good luck to all those who enter!

Hurry!

If you want to win some custom made Mario shoes, please click on the donate button that you see on the side of this post.  Five dollars gets you one entry, and the contest closes at 4:30PM PST June 24th, 2012.  

Hurry!  Mario and Luigi need to be on your feet and the children need books and games and toys while they're in the hospital.  

Contest Time!

The other day, I made a pair of pretty kick butt Mario shoes for my fiance, because he's pretty kick butt himself.  Also, the Mario Marathon was starting pretty soon, and he's a bit of a super fan.

Making those shoes has inspired me to see if I can further encourage my readers to donate to the Mario Marathon.   Beside this post, you'll see a donation widget.  For every $5 you donate to the Mario Marathon through my blog, between now and 4:30PM PST on June 24th, 2012, will be entered into a draw to win a pair of custom made Mario shoes made by me (with a little help from a friend).
The winner will be announced on Sunday and will be contacted - so it's important to leave an email address or twitter handle so that I can contact you - that day so that I can get your shoe size and mailing address.  Because they are handmade, they will take a bit of time to make, but I will try to get them out to you as soon a possible.

Below are some pictures of the shoes I made my fiance, just to give you an idea as to what you will be getting.  And remember, for every $5 donation you get an entry.  So the more you donate, the more entries you get.  All the money goes to Child's Play Charity.

So go donate!

Do it for the kids!

Do it for the shoes!

Do the Mario!

Well, it's that time of year again, folks.  In just under 12 hours Mario Marathon 5 starts.  My fiancé is such a big fan that he's taking his first ever stay-cation so that he can watch as much of the marathon as he can.  I have to work, so I won't get to watch as much as I would like, but I still plan on contributing as much as I can.  For that I need your help.

On the side of this post, you'll see a widget to donate to the Mario Marathon.  The money goes straight to Child's Play Charity which in turn goes towards sick kids in hospitals.  Regular readers of my blog (when I regularly post, that is) have already heard my spiel about the awesomeness that is the Mario Marathon.  But for those who haven't, please feel free to check this post out that really highlights why my fiance and I, and many others tune in every year to watch a buncha grown men sit around and play Super Mario Bros. 

Stay tuned through out this weekend for some possible announcements from my blog and don't forget to check out the Mario Marathon!

Consider it a birthday present to me.

I Don't Understand Bullies

I don't understand the motivation of bullies.  Is there motivation?  Is it really something a "simple" as the bullies themselves are hurting, so they're projecting the hurt onto others?

If this is the accepted reasoning behind bullying, why isn't more being done to acknowledge that and step in?  Why is it that the bullying an sadistic natures of the bullies isn't truly addressed until they have killed someone - actively or passively.  On that note, why is bullying (that results in death) only looked at as a minor crime, if at all?

I was watching Anderson the other day; the topic was about bullying spurred on by Jamey Rodemeyer's recent suicide.  Jamey was bullied for years and finally, at only 14 years old, he reached his breaking point and hung himself from the swing set his parents got from him and his sister when he was 3 years old.  His 16 year old sister found his body.  His bullies were without remorse, and continued to bully him even after his death saying they were glad he was dead at a homecoming rally.

Why was he bullied?  Because he was self aware enough to know, at around the age of 12, that he was gay and was open about it.  Instead of being allowed to live his life, he was tormented to the point where he believe he had not alternative but to end his life.  Despite the support he had from his family, and some select friends, he honestly thought it doesn't get better.

My kid is about to start school, and I sometimes really worry about how bullying will affect him.  Will he be a bully?  Will he be bullied?  Will he take a stand against bullies?  I really hope it's the latter, but I also really hope that if it's the former two, that I will be aware enough as a parent and take steps to stop him from bullying and/or protect him from the bullies.   Already I know that my kid's school professes to have a pretty strong stance against bullying, and believe me when I tell you that they will hear from me if they don't. 

Jamey had a right to feel safe at his school, just like my child does.  His orientation shouldn't have had any affect on his ability to learn, to grow as a person, and to feel acceptance, not only from his peers at his school, but also from the faculty.  Too often, when you hear of yet another heartbreaking story of a child who's committed suicide as a result of bullying, you hear of faculty members that turned a blind eye to the tormented child's struggles.  Teachers and principals are reported to have told the children to just ignore their bullies.  They tell the children to pretend they're straight so that the bullies will leave them alone.  They go on about how awful the bullies lives are, making excuses for why the bullies behave abominably. 

If a teacher/faculty member at my kid's school makes excuses for why a bully/bullies are treating him like dirt, the staff will have a holy reckoning brought down upon them the likes of which they have never seen before.  If a bully creates any issues for my kid, that kid's parents are going to wish they never enrolled their child to my kid's school.  They're going to wish that they actually took the time to parent their child so that this mama bear doesn't make their life suck.

Bullies and their parents will be given no quarter* from me.

That's a promise.






*Authors note:  This is metaphorical, obviously.

Parenting in a Social Media Age

This article is long overdue!

Last summer, I said that I would write a blog post of whatever topic (provided it didn't promote hate in any way) to whoever would make the highest bid to the Mario Marathon through my blog within a certain time frame.  Someone I got to know through the marathon and Twitter won the bid, but I have been exceedingly and embarrassingly negligent in my payout.  My apologies!

The topic requested is, as the post title says, about parenting in a social media age.  There are plenty of ways to approach this topic and as a parent I do have a vested interest in topics such as these, especially as my kid gets older and as parents, my partner and I have to start thinking about how we are going to approach our kid's introduction/involvement in social media.

People have plenty of opinions on when they will allow their child/ren on the internet, whether or not they will supervise their internet usage, if they should get NetNanny or something to that degree, or what have you.  I'm not going to go into that tonight.  I don't know that there's one right or wrong way to handle that whole can of worms; I'm pretty positive there isn't.  Every child is different, I figure the way a parent should approach the topic of internet usage ought to depend on the child themselves.

What I am going to talk about it using social media as a parenting tool.  Just a quick qualifier, since I really only use Facebook and Twitter as social media tools, I'm really only going to speak to those two specific social media devices.  I know there's Google+, Reddit, Tumblr, StumbleUpon, et al - but I don't use them, so I can't speak to them with any great "authority".  So when I say social media, it's shorthand for Facebook and Twitter, mkay?

We've all heard the saying that is takes a village to raise a child, and I really think that social media has made that more true now than it has in a really long time leading up to this.  It has enabled parents to build a larger network of parents who we feel comfortable enough to lean on for advice, for a sounding board, or for someone we can commiserate with.  From the excitement of announcing that you're going to have/adopt a child and going through the journey of waiting for your new family member to come home, to welcoming the child home, to praying for the day they leave, you have more than just your parents, siblings who are also parents, and Mommy-and-Me friends to lean on.

Not only is your network larger (potentially), but you wind up (potentially) getting a broader range of parenting methods that you wind up being exposed to that you may not have been introduced to before social media blew into town.  How many parents these days go to Facebook when their kid has some weird sounding cough, or is having issues with potty training before they go to WebMD or a clinic?  I know I have on many occasions (perhaps to the chagrin of my partner on more than one occasion), and I know I will do so in the future.

Like with any form of advice, expert or otherwise, you definitely need to take it with a grain of salt.  Understand that what works for your evangelical Christian, public schooling, 3 child friend is likely to be vastly different than what works for your Sikh, Khalsa schooling, 2 child friend and either may or may not work for you, you single child, pantheistic, home schooling, crunchy parent, you.  The trick is to use the suggestions given to you by your friends/colleagues/family members as more of an aid to bolster your own ideas on how to deal with your kid yanking on the cat's tail (Pro Tip: Don't do what these parents did).  Don't take the advice given as gospel.  Even the good advice.  Especially the advice that calls itself gospel.

The thing I enjoy the most about asking for/giving parenting advice on social media is that it really helps me to feel like I'm not alone; I suspect I'm not alone in this opinion either.  It really goes back to the saying I mentioned earlier about it taking a village.  I like that I get to share in my parenting “aha!” moments and frustrations with my friends in Maine equally with my friends here that I actually get to see.  I like that we all get to watch our children grow up together, and I like that my friends in California are almost as excited as I am when my child hits some milestone in life, even though they've never actually met my kid.

That last sentence may cause some people to worry about security, and I don't entirely blame them; it's a scary world out there, and you have to be ultra vigilant as a parent.  That shouldn't prevent you from seeing social media for the valuable parenting tool it is.  It's also entirely possible to keep your child 100% anonymous on the internet, while still reaping the benefits of the social village parenting.  I see it being done all the time.  Sure, it takes a concerted effort, but it's totally doable.  You can seek advice/brag about your child without giving any pertinent details except for possibly a ballparked age and still having people rallying behind you and your child.  Try a gender neutral nickname and refer to your child only by that nickname and/or gender neutral pronouns.  Frankly, it's probably not a bad idea even if you're not going to go all out in making your kid the next Blanket on the internet.  Your kid's accomplishments ought not be determined by what's between their legs, but that's a whole different topic that I will probably talk about at a later date.

Since I'm not going to great lengths to making my kid anonymous on the internet (not on Facebook, at any rate.  Here and on Twitter is a different story) I won't try to come up with tips on how to Blanket your child/ren, but I'm sure a few well thought out keywords on a Google search will lead you to a blog somewhere that talks about exactly that.  Or, if you'd prefer, ask your friends on Facebook.