How Can I Help?

As I get inundated/inundate myself with much of the news that’s being discussed around water coolers, gyms, dinner tables, and Facebook walls throughout the world relating to the new Trump administration, I am often sitting here thinking to myself, “how can I help effect change?”

How can I make life safer for my community of amazing people around the world, and in the US in particular?

Being in Canada, how can I lend a hand and show solidarity to those in the US who I love that are part of the black community, the Muslim community, the First Nations community, the LGBT+ community, the community of women, the community of teachers, the middle class and the unemployed, and all the other countless amazing communities that are out there right now who are hurting, crying, afraid, and desperate? 

What can I do, beyond my deluge of social media posts, to bring about awareness and social change to those who may not agree with me but are willing to listen?

I’m honestly asking here, because I simply don’t know.

I feel exasperated and hamstrung in my ineffectiveness. I have signed petitions that have led to nowhere but made me feel good for a minute.  I have engaged with trolls (and those who are in a quasi-trolly mood, but aren’t really trolls, they’re just feeling like they’re not being heard so they act like trolls which make people not want to hear them and so they act MORE like trolls) in the comments section.  I have donated to various causes.  I have cheered on my friends who have put jobs/friendships on the line to protest this tyrannical administration.  I have done all of this from the comfort of my home.  I haven’t actually DONE anything.  I just clicked a few buttons, tapped a few keys, and mentally patted myself on the back for being a good person.

There was a vigil today to grieve with the local Muslim community in the wake of yesterday’s mass shooting in Quebec.  Mass shootings are an anomaly in Canada; they happen so rarely happen that the entire nation is rocked to its very core (this is the fourth mass shooting since 2014).  Sadly, it wasn’t until after the vigil ended that I found out about it so I wasn’t able to attend.  There’s a subsequent one on Saturday that I will be out of town for, so again, I can’t attend.  So again, I sit here frustrated in my inactivity. 

I see way too many parallels between this new Trump administration and the rise of the Nazi regime and it scares me.  Not in the *excuse me as I attempt to type like Kim K sounds* “like, omg those poor, like... people” kind of scared.  But in the “Holy shit, maybe those crazy Preppers are on to something, and we need to seriously consider making a bug out bag.” kind of scared.  I genuinely fear that we are witnessing Nazi Germany 2.0 in the making, and I am equally terrified that as loud as everyone is about speaking out against this horrific scene developing, we aren’t being loud enough.  The poem “First They Came...” has been running through my head in a constant loop for over a week now. 

I want and need to speak for the Socialists, and the Trade Unionists, and Jews... because soon, someone will need to speak for me.  I am terrified that the meager things I have done have amounted to nothing, and I as good as silent. 

I need to go look at puppies and baby sloths, because...

 

I feel my zen coming back a bit...

OMG they’re in a bucket!

How is he even real <3

Awww, he’s tired

Let’s just end this here
http://www.kittycatcam.com/

Can you afford it?

So today the husband, the kid, and I went down stateside to hang out and do a bit of shopping.  Before we started our shopping marathon, we decided to stop for lunch at Taco Time.  Through a miscommunication, we wound up getting two extra tacos that none of us ended up having.  We saved the tacos, figuring we could eat it later, or better yet, give it to someone who's hungry. 

We went shopping at Ross for an hour or so, and then on our way back to the car, I notice a guy sitting in the parking lot under the blazing hot sun. I've seen him there before, and I've given him food each time I've seen him, since we always seem to have leftovers from some restaurant or another.  Today was no exception. 

Here's the crazy part: When I gave him the food, his reaction was, "Are you sure you can afford this? Thank you!  Are you sure?"  This guy, a Navy vet (according to his sign), is hungry, homeless, sitting under the blazing sun, and his primary concern was making sure *I* wasn't going to go hungry or put myself out by giving him this food.  Let's be real here - if I didn't give this guy our food, I was going to turf it.  And this guy was worried... for *me*.  After I just spent $70 on clothes that I didn't *really* need.   I was so moved I started to cry. 

We often forget how incredibly rich we are.  We take our three squares a day, our overabundance of snacks, our drinks at the bar, all of that stuff for granted.  We gorge ourselves on Ben and Jerry's and then complain... we complain about how full we are!  We whine about being fat.  We joke about how this bottle of wine is going to cost us a couple of hours at the gym.  Then when some person who's obviously living on the streets has the temerity to ask us for the spare change in our pockets so they can get something to eat, we lie that we don't have any.  Or that we can't spare any. 

This is a lie.  Most of us probably don't have the resources to do what FouseyTube,  MagicofRahat, or Sofia's Angels do.  But that doesn't mean we can't do something.

I'm going to try to do something.







(PS: Sorry if the post ended somewhat abruptly.  It started to sound a bit preachy.  I didn't like that, and it's late.  So I ended it where I did.)

I miss her

I’ve been wanting to write a post about religion, and the absence of it in my life.  This is my third attempt.  I can’t put into words how I feel.  I don’t believe in God. I used to.  I’ve been hurt by religion.  I walked away and haven’t looked back.  It’s not as simple as that, but maybe that’s all I need to say about that.

The reason I’ve been struggling with this post for the past week and a half is because today is the 8th anniversary of my friend’s suicide.  It’s such a weird time of year for me, since Mini Moo’s birthday falls less than a week prior to that.  So there’s this huge build up to the kid’s birthday; days, weeks, months of planning the party (I went a bit nuts this year) and what gifts to get and an almost immediate crash into missing my friend even more than normal.

This year it’s even harder for me.  I know someone who’s struggling with suicide.  I don’t know this person well, but someone who’s really important to me knows this person really well.  He’s a young person who doesn’t fully realize the impact suicide has on the people left behind.  I miss my friend all the time.  There are times where it’s so bad, I can’t function properly.  There are times I’m so angry at her that I want to punch things, throw things, destroy things.  I can’t yell at her, so what other option do I have?  Most of all, I miss talking to her.

She was funny, so smart, loved animals, being active, and being with her friends.  She adored her family.  She had her own business.  She was a light.  She struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide.  She had a hard time finding her own identity.  She believed in God, but had a lot of questions that couldn’t be answered.

And now she’s gone.

We can’t ever talk to her over the phone.  We can’t post stupid quizzes on her Facebook wall and find out what flower she is (she’d be a green tulip).  Her family can’t hug her.  Her pain made her blind to all the amazing things she brought to this world, and she took that from us.  I’ll love her forever, and I’ll never stop mourning her death.  But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her for that moment of selfishness.

I wish I could grab this kid by the shoulders and say, “Don’t you dare!! Don’t you dare deprive the world of all you have to offer! Don’t you dare leave a hole in the hearts of your family and friends that will never be filled!”  I have talked to him about how suicide has impacted me and my friends.  One of my best friends has also talked to him about her own experiences with suicide.  He listens to us, and all the people who are trying to help him, but I worry he doesn’t hear us.

Like with my friend, he can’t see past the wall of pain.  All he knows is that living... that taking that next breath... is just too hard.  He’s convinced that people won’t give a shit if he lives or dies.  He thinks those who love him will move on in no time, and things will be better for everyone around him.

Unfortunately when someone’s in such a dark hole, there’s little that can be said to that person to convince them otherwise.  All we can do is love them, give them as much support and encouragement as we can, and try to show them how our lives are so much richer with them in it.  My life will never be the same without my friend in it.  The same is true for her family and friends.  The same would be true if this kid does the unthinkable.  Many lives will be profoundly impacted by his loss.  I just hope he realizes this before it’s too late.

If you’re in a scary place, please know that you’re not alone.  There are people who are there to help you.  If you feel you can’t talk to your family and friends, there are help lines you can call.  You can go to the hospital.  You can call the police.  You can talk to a teacher or counselor at school.  Please don’t convince yourself that no one will help and please don’t stop asking for help. There will be someone who can help.

If you are thinking of hurting yourself, please call someone for help.
If you suspect someone around you may be suicidal and you don’t know what to do, please call someone for help. 

Below is a list of resources that you can use for help.

Kids Help Phone (Canada)

Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention (Canada)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA)

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (USA)

Papyrus (UK)

Samaritans (UK)

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For resources close to you, wherever you are in Canada click here
List of suicide crisis lines by country
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If your country isn’t listed, and you would like me to include them on my list, please leave a comment below and I will do what I can to include a national number or resource on this post.

Someone loves you.  Even if it’s someone you don’t know or haven’t met yet.  Trust me in this.


I love you.

This Christmas...

This Christmas/holiday season I hereby issue a challenge:

Don't buy anything for your loved ones! 

Pretty crazy, I know, but hear me out.  

Today I finally got around to tackling a task I really don't like doing, which is clearing our kitchen table.  It's basically a catchall for junk mail and random doodads that we don't know what to do with just yet.  I avoid it as often as possible, but eventually it has to be done.  Anyhow, as I was clearing out, I stumbled upon a World Vision gift catalogue.  Intrigued, I put it aside while I finished my task at hand.

After finishing, I decided to thumb through the catalogue; what I saw brought me to tears.  Even talking to my fiance about it 10 minutes later caused me to break down in tears, yet again.  Sure, commercials can make me cry, but that's beside the point.  Did you know, that for $30CAD, you can give 10 children the gift of health?  For $35CAD, you can give 3 families the gift of self-reliance.  Forty five dollars gives the gift of literacy, education, independence, the chance for freedom to a classroom full of children.  For only $100CAD, you can give entire communities the gift of life.

So little is needed to give so much to so many people.  How many of us have a wish list of things that we want for our birthdays or Christmas (or whatever gift giving celebration you participate in)?  How many of us are fretting, thinking, "Oh, god!  What am I going to get Mom and Dad this year?" How many of us get nauseated at the idea of having to brave yet another mall excursion to get a $50 toy for your kid, who already has a room full of toys, and who may only play with that toy a half dozen times - if even that much?

Okay yes, not actually getting anything for your kids (the ones who aren't grown, at any rate) may seem a bit harsh, but I do encourage you to think about how much you're willing to spend on everyone, and how much of an impact even a fraction of what you will spend this year will have on people who really do need our help. 

How about this?  Instead of not buying anyone any gifts this holiday season, consider making a donation to World Vision, or whatever organization you wish to donate to in the name of at least one person on your list.  Chances are, they will be moved that someone loved them enough to save a bunch of people in their name. 

PS: I have the pleasure of getting to know a person by the name of Cathy on Facebook.  She has a business page called Cathy's Creations and she knows, perhaps more than most, the joy helping someone can bring.  She puts a fair bit of time (I'm assuming, judging by how many packages she sends out on a weekly basis) into making beautiful bracelets (among many other things).  One line of bracelets she makes are "Cause Jewelery".  Proceeds from the bracelets goes to various (American) health organizations, children's charities (usually for a specific child who has to spend much of their short life fighting cancer or some other life threatening condition), or awareness efforts.  She has touched many, many lives, brought joy and hope to many children and their families, and has inspired a lot of us to get off our duffs and do the same. 

I've been off work for nearly 8 months now, but I'm going back soon.  One of the first things I'm going to do with my first paycheque is buy a coat for the man who sits outside my local grocery store.  I don't know his name, or what brought him to his current situation (though, I can't help but wonder how much he would benefit from more efforts/funding for social housing in our city) but I do know that he is kind to my son, and doesn't have a clean coat to keep him warm and dry.  That's all I need to know. 

I can't help but wonder if I would have been inspired to do this, had it not been for the inspiration we get from all the kind, selfless, wonderful things she does for so many people.  I'm not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan or Buddhist, but truly believe that Cathy is doing something that transcends humanity.